The Jungle - Chapter 3

Again, no introduction, straight to the story.

Ext. View: Somewhere deep in the South American jungle. We see Jane, Vincent, Quinn, and Lynn all bunched up in a small group sitting on the ground in tall grass. What appears to be Daria passed out lays face down near Lynn. Lynn is still holding her pistol and is glaring outward. A large group of native tribesmen armed with spears surround our heroes. The warriors don't look too happy as they get closer and closer and closer and...

Quinn: (Looking worried.) Um, Vincent?

Vincent: Don't worry. If they wanted to do us harm, they would have done so already. (Beat.) I hope.

A tribesman pokes a spear in Lynn's direction.

Lynn: What do you want, spear boy?

The tribesman makes a few comments in a foreign language towards Lynn.

Vincent: I think he wants you to hand over your pistol.

Lynn: (Disgusted look on her face.) The hell I will.

The tribesman pokes at her again and makes a few more comments, louder this time.

Jane: Lynn, give the nice headhunter your gun. (Beat.) Maybe he won't kill us then.

Lynn: (There's still a disgusted, angry look on her face as she glares at the tribesman.) The only way you'll get this gun is if you pry it away from my cold, dead...

Quinn: (Interrupting.) Please don't give him any ideas.

Lynn looks back at her group who nod vigorously at her, sighs, checks the safety, and hands over her weapon to the tribesman. He grabs it, shoves it into his clothing and again points his spear at Lynn.

Daria moans slightly and begins to move.

Lynn: About time Princess Unconscious woke up. (She whacks Daria a good one on her leg.) Rise and shine sleepy head.

Daria finally sits up in the tall grass holding her head with a hand.

Daria: Now I know what you went through, Lynn. Damn, my head hurts. (She finally looks up and sees the tribesmen standing around the group.) What the...

The tribesmen all look at Daria and gape at her in shock. As one, they release their spears, drop to their hands and knees, and begin to prostrate and worship the group. They start chanting in a language that we don't understand.

Daria: (Looking around.) ...hell?

The tribesmen continue their chanting and their worshiping. Our group just sits there and looks around at them.

Quinn: Um, what's going on?

Vincent: I don't know...

Jane: They started chanting when Daria woke up.

Lynn: (Quietly.) Well, since we're no longer being threatened, maybe we should try and sneak out of here.

Daria: (Also quietly.) I think maybe that's a good idea.

Our group rises slowly as one unnoticed by the warriors.

Jane: Looks good so far.

The entire group takes a step together to the left. As soon as their feet come down, the tribesmen quickly pick up their spears and begin threatening our group again.

Daria: Got any more bright ideas, Cullen?

Lynn stands there and shrugs. She raises her hands in surrender. The rest of the group does likewise. The tribesmen close in, their spear points still pointed at our group.

Ext. View: A path leading through the jungle. A pair of spear carrying tribesmen walk through the scene first followed by two more tribesmen holding a thick limb between them. Daria hangs from underneath with her wrists and ankles tied to it. She doesn't look all that comfortable. She turns behind her.

Daria: I don't like this.

Jane: (From off screen.) At least you have it easy.

Daria's group goes off screen to be followed by another two tribesmen carried Jane hanging from a limb tied like Daria. Jane's butt though hangs a bit closer to the ground.

Jane: At least you don't have to worry about rocks and tree roots.

Jane's group goes off to be followed by two more tribesmen with another limb between themselves with Lynn hanging from this one.

Lynn: That's not funny, Lane.

Jane: (Off screen.) Ain't trying to -Ouch!- be, Cullen. (Her voice a bit more raised.) Hey! Come on, guys. I'm hanging -Ouch!- here.

Lynn's group walks off and Quinn's group comes into view.

Quinn: EWW! This is going to stretch my arms and legs out. I'm going to look weird. I'm going to be the tallest one in school. People will think I play sports and get all sweaty. Ted won't date me anymore. People will think I'm a freak like Daria is. I don't want to be one of the unpopular people.

Quinn's group goes off while Quinn continues to go on and is followed by Vincent's group.

Vincent: Quinn, just relax. You'll be fine.

Vincent's group walks off. A small group of tribesmen walk into view carrying our group's stuff and stop. They look at each other, roll their eyes and then follow.

Ext. View: A small hill in the jungle. The procession walks across the screen and stops as it reaches the top.

Jane: (She can't see over the top of the hill from where she is.) What are we stopping for?

Daria: (Trying to see over the top of the hill crest.) I think we've reached where we were going.

The camera pulls back to show the view on the far side of the hill. We see a large clearing in the jungle filled with thatched huts. A large hut sits near the middle of the clearing with another one off to the side. Large numbers of men, women, and children wander through the paths between the huts going about their daily chores. There appears to be something big made out of stone covered with large leaves standing in the exact middle of the clearing. A tribesman looks at our group and points with his spear at the village.

A Tribesman: Ami-rick-can Ban-dist-tard.

Quinn: What did he say?

Vincent: I think he was telling us the name of the village, Quinn.

Daria: Ami-rick-can Ban-dist-tard.

Lynn: Your home away from home.

Jane: Best care anywhere. (1)

Quinn: They better have some place to do my hair.

The procession walks towards the village. Daria and her pair of tribesmen split off from the rest.

Jane: (Worried.) Daria!

Daria: (Trying to look back.) Jane! Lynn!

Vincent: Hang in there. We'll try and find you.

Int. View: Inside one of the large huts. A lot of woven mats are thrown around the dirt floor. Painted shields with animals and plants are hung along the walls on all four sides. A large pair of double doors fills one end of the hall while a hanging woven tapestry fills the other end, a raised wooden dais in front of it. A large metal gong sits in a corner behind the dais. Eight wood chairs are lined in a row on the dais with the middle one being larger then the others. A pair of torches on either side of the dais provides light while an unlit fire pit fills the middle of the hall. A pedestal sits in a corner with a colorful woven covering draped over it. The doors open and an unbound Daria is politely shoved into the hall with the doors closing behind her. Daria looks around the hall, decides she doesn't want to be there, and almost runs back to the double doors, opening them to discover two armed tribesmen standing there blocking her way. We can see members of the tribe trying to see past the guards to get a glance of Daria. She closes the door and walks back into the hall looking around. She rubs her wrists trying to get the circulation going again trying not to look too concerned. She sees the pedestal in the corner and is about to walk over there until...

A voice from off screen: Hell-lo.

Daria jumps and turns quickly. Behind her stands a fairly well dressed, older tribesman, covered in necklaces of beads and polished stone holding a highly polished walking stick that's taller than him. On his head is a huge headdress made out of feathers and other decorations. Behind him stands a group of seven tribesmen in a line across the hut. They are even older then the first but their clothes are of a tad poorer nature than his. A pair of spear carrying warriors stand on either side of the hanging tapestry.

Daria: (A tad nervous.) Hello there. (Beat.) Do you speak English?

The tribesman: (He smiles as he makes a small bow to Daria. The other seven bow also.) A lit-tle. Me nome iz Clue-masy Smear-if.

Daria: (Stumbling over his name.) Clue-masy Smear-if. My name is Daria.

Clue-masy Smear-if: (With a smile.) Di-ar-rhe-a. (2)

Daria: (Sighs.) No, Dar-i-a.

Clue-masy Smear-if: (Again with a smile.) Di-ar-rhe-a.

Daria: (A little stronger this time.) No, Dar-i-a.

Clue-masy Smear-if: (Turning to the seven behind him, he grins and points to Daria.) Di-ar-rhe-a.

The seven: (Stumbling a bit with the new word, not even close to being together.) Di-ar-rhe-a.

Daria: (Sighs.) Close enough.

Clue-masy Smear-if: (Turning back to Di-ar-rhe-a, um, Daria.) We vel-comb you to out vil-lage, Di-ar-rhe-a.

Daria: (Trying to figure our in her head what he just said.) Um, thank you.

Clue-masy Smear-if: It haz bean a long time, Di-ar-rhe-a.

Daria: Um, yea. It sure has. (Beat.) A long time since I've been here? Have I been here before?

Clue-masy Smear-if: (A happy little nod.) Trent-ty tree sum-merz ago, you came and vis-ited us, Di-ar-rhe-a.

Daria: (Again trying to make sense of what he just said.) Trent-ty tree? (Thinking.) Trent-ty tree? Oh, twenty three summers. (Beat.) I wasn't born twenty three summers ago. (3)

Clue-masy Smear-if: (Not paying any attention.) We will have a feast in your honor this even-ning, Di-ar-rhe-a.

Daria: What about my friends?

Clue-masy Smear-if: (Confused.) Friends?

Daria: The people I came with?

Clue-masy Smear-if turns and talks this over with the other seven tribesman in their native language. After a bit one of the tribesmen turns and calls over a warrior, asking him short questions and getting detailed, polite responses. After a bit, the whole group nods and turns back to Daria with the warrior returning to stand near the tapestry.

Clue-masy Smear-if: You mean the onez you brought for the cere-E-mon-ey

Daria: The cere-E-mon-ey? (She thinks for a second and it dawns on her.) The ceremony. Um, sure. Yes, they are here for the ceremony.

Clue-masy Smear-if: Since they are for the cere-E-mon-ey, they will be there for the feast also. They are an im-port-ant part of the cere-E-mon-ey at the end of the feast.

Daria: At the end?

Clue-masy Smear-if: (He nods.) We have to make you happy, Di-ar-rhe-a. We vant our craps to grow and are hunt-ting to bees bount-ti-full.

Clue-masy Smear-if snaps his fingers and two young maidens approach from behind the dais carrying over loaded trays. One is filled with necklaces of beads and feathers while the other one is filled with fresh fruit and berries. Daria looks at the trays strangely while the older tribesmen smile at her. Daria sighs, decides she better make a good impression, picks up a bit of fruit and takes a bite. The men all look at each other with smiles.

Int. View: A smaller hut. This one looks like it's a home for a tribal family. A pair of cots is against the wall, the floor is covered with more woven mats, pillows are here and there around the hut, etc. It looks like a typical tribal hut. Jane is sitting on a cot playing with a pocket snap on her pants looking bored, Vincent is sitting cross legged on the floor bent over studying a clay pot with a magnifying glass, Lynn is looking out through a crack in the door, while Quinn paces back and forth in the hut. They have been untied and left alone. Their packs sit in one corner. Vincent sighs, sits upright and lowers his magnifying glass.

Vincent: I wish I knew more about this culture.

Jane: (In a bored voice.)I think we now have some time for you to study it.

Lynn: (Still looking out the crack to the outside of the hut.) Looks like it. We're not going anywhere.

Vincent: (Looking up at Lynn.) Still guarded?

Lynn: (Finally pulling away from the wall and looking down at Vincent.) Two guards standing by the door and a third one about ten feet away. (Beat.) They know what they are doing. We're not going anywhere any time soon. (Lynn starts to walk over to one of the cots and almost runs into Quinn.) Quinn, will you watch where you're going?

Quinn: I can't believe I'm locked in here. I'm too cute to be locked up.

Jane: (Smirks.) Don't worry Quinn. The beautiful girl always gets kidnapped and locked up by the lost native tribe in the movies.

Quinn: (She stops and thinks for a second.) I don't remember any movies like that.

Lynn: (Sitting down beside Jane.) The old Tarzan movies had themes like that. (Jane looks at Lynn.) Another one of AP's movie weekends. (Beat.) At least he didn't try and talk me into being his Jane. (Jane smirks and Lynn leans forward placing her head in her hands, a pained look going across her face.) I can't believe I just said that. (4)

Vincent: King Kong had a maiden who he kidnapped.

Jane: Look at all the times Daphne got kidnapped and tied up in the Scooby Doo cartoons. She always got rescued.

Quinn: That's just what I need. To be rescued by some smelly old mutt. (She continues her pacing. Jane and Lynn watch her like it's a tennis match.) Where's Keanu Reeves or Will Smith when you need them? Or even Bruce Willis? (5)

Lynn: Quinn, would you please sit down somewhere and relax.

Quinn sits down on the other cot swinging her legs. She doesn't look like she's going to relax. Jane turns to Lynn.

Jane: Bruce Willis?

Lynn: (Shrugs.) He saved the Earth in the Fifth Element. Maybe he can find the time to save a sixteen year old out in the jungle.

Quinn: ARGH! I can't relax. (She stands up and starts pacing again.) What are we going to do? Those guys are armed out there.

Vincent: (Standing up and walking over to Quinn. He grabs her by the shoulders.) Quinn, we can't do anything to escape until we know what is happening to Daria. You mind as well sit down and try to relax. (Quinn sits again on the cot and stays there for a change.) She is one of the group and we can't leave her behind. (Beat.) We've already lost one person...

Jane: You ok, Vincent?

Vincent: (He looks at the pot again.) Yea, I'm fine.

Quinn: And why her? I'm much better looking then she is. I should be the one they noticed first.

Lynn: While I hate to agree with Quinn on something, I must admit that I am confused about their choice also. I mean Daria and I do look a like. Why was she chosen and not me? And why was she taken away? (6)

Vincent: (Shrugs.) No idea. (Beat.) I hope Daria can handle the situation. I also am wondering why they took her away and not you.

Jane: Maybe it had something to do with the loaded pistol you had pointed in their direction at the time. (This earns a glare from Lynn.)

We hear some movement outside of the hut. All four stand up and look at the door. It opens just enough to let Daria into the hut and quickly closes behind her. Daria stands there looking at the four of them. She looks uncomfortable as she is covered in necklaces of beads and wears a headdress made out of feathers. The other four close in looking at what she's wearing.

Jane: (With a smirk.) Oh, look what the cat dragged in.

Daria: Go to hell, Lane.

Quinn: Daria, if you wanted some fashion tips, you should have asked me.  Beads and headdresses are so last year. You look like a parade float.

Daria: (Annoyed.) You too, Quinn.

Lynn: (Also smirking.) You didn't have to get dressed up on our account.

Daria: (Getting a bit more annoyed.) You can take them there, Cullen.

Vincent: (Serious
ly.) Any idea what is going on here?

Daria: Yea, and you can go fuc..., um.

Vincent's eyebrows shoot up.

Daria: (Calming down.) Um, sorry.

Vincent just nods.

Daria: (She sighs and takes a second to settle herself.) No, I don't know what is going on. All I can make out is that they're going to have a feast and a ceremony in my honor tonight.

Vincent: A feast in your honor?

Daria: (Nodding.) Yes. (Beat.) They also make it sound like I've been here before.

Quinn: Oh sure. YOU get invited to the feast and we have to stay behind and probably have to eat coconuts or palm leaves. They will probably be lots of cute warriors there also. You'll be the center of attention.

Daria: Don't worry, Quinn. You're invited also. You all are. They made sure to tell me that. Something about you are needed for the ceremony at the end of the feast.

Vincent: (Catching on to a point Daria made.) Hold on. You said they told you something. Do they speak English?

Daria: At least one of them does and I think he's the leader of the tribe. He doesn't speak it too well though. Calls himself (Stumbling again over the name.) Clue-masy Smear-if.

Vincent: He didn't say where he learned English, did he?

Daria: (Shakes her head.) No. He also didn't explain why he thinks I was here years ago. He acts like I should already know what is going on here.

Jane: Well, maybe you look like someone who used to live here or a missionary who traveled through the village years ago.

Lynn: Then again we run into the question if she looks like someone who has been here in the past, why did they just pick her and not me.

Vincent: How well did he speak it?

Daria: Not very. He said I was here twenty three years ago. I guess pronunciation can change over that amount of time.

The door opens again and a young boy (About six or seven.) runs in with a large tray filled with fruit. He places the tray on a cot and goes to run out again but both Lynn and Daria reach out and grab an arm.

Lynn: Hold on there. What's the hurry?

Daria: Let him go. He probably doesn't understand English.

The boy: (He pulls out of their grasp and looks at them.) I cant to udderstand Eng-glish.

Daria: He's got to be named Kevin.

Jane: (Smirk.) Daria, you can't insult the poor kid. At least he dresses in something besides a football uniform.

Vincent: Their pronunciation has changed over time.

Quinn walks up to the tray, takes a piece, and bites into it. The boy just watches her in something like awe.

Jane: (Quietly.) Trouble. Quinn's found another follower.

Quinn: (Looking down at the boy with a smile.) What's your name?

Boy: (Still looking at Quinn.) Hew-wey Hef-ner.

Quinn looks down again at the boy and gives a big smile. Little Hewey just turns and looks at Daria.

Hewey: Do they all look that ugly where you come from?

Quinn turns bright red on this, The rest of the group just smile and smirk.

Quinn: WHAT! I'm not ugly! I'm the most popular one in my school!

Daria: (Smirking.) No, some are even uglier.

Hewey looks over Quinn again who is still mad, shudders, and walks out of the hut. Jane and Vincent crack up as soon as the door closes while Lynn and Daria just stand there and smirk, looking at Quinn.

Quinn: How dare he call me ugly!

Lynn: We told you, Quinn. This is a different culture. We're foreigners here. (7)

Quinn: I'm cute where ever I go.

Daria: Quinn, in some cultures, you would have to weigh over 200 pounds, be white as a ghost, and never shower to be considered cute.

Lynn: Or go racing down a hill drunk chasing after a hunk of cheese. (8)

Jane walks up with the tray while munching on her own bit of fruit.

Jane: (Around a mouthful.) You guys need to eat something.

Lynn: I'm not hungry.

Daria: Neither am I.

Vincent walks up also eating a piece of fruit.

Vincent: We all need to keep our strength up and that means eating. (He takes two pieces of fruit off the tray and gives one to each of them.) We don't know what will be happening or when the next time will be when we get the change to eat again so the two of you better eat something now that we have it here.

Lynn and Daria look at each other and then at Vincent. He makes a motion for them to go ahead and eat which they do. Quinn has calmed down by now and is sitting on a cot eating her bit of fruit.

The door opens and a large warrior walks in carrying a fairly large spear. He stands near the door looking at the group. Quinn tries a smile and a wave but the warrior just scowls at her. Quinn drops her hand. The warriors moves to the side of the door and makes a motion that they should leave.

Jane: (Putting down the tray of fruit.) I guess it's showtime.

The all begin to walk out of the hut but the warrior stops them with his spear. He makes a motion towards Daria and points the way out of the hut to her. Daria looks at the group, shrugs and goes outside. A small bunch of tribesmen walk into the hut holding ropes, go up to the group and begin tying their hands together.

Quinn: Again? I'm going to get rope burns.

Vincent: Quinn, just play along and we'll see where they are taking us.

After the tying is complete, the tribesmen escort our group out of the hut all under the watchful glare of the warrior. He follows and shuts the door behind him.

Commercial Hell #1: Daria and Jane stand there looking at one another. Jane has a smirk on her face.

Daria: (Sighs.) Go ahead and say it, Lane.

Jane: (Faking a look of innocence and confusion.) Welcome to hell. Please keep your hands...

Daria: (Interrupting.) No, not my line. Your line.

Jane: (Still faking.) So then what is this filler space for then?

Daria: No, Lane. The other line.

Jane: (A small smile is beginning to appear.) So, was it good for you?

Daria: No, the other, other line.

Jane: (She looks at the camera first with a smirk before turning back to Daria. She hams up the following lines in full Shatner mode.) Well, it appears we're in deep doo-doo now, Commander Daria. (Fake tension.) How will we survive?

Daria: (Sighs.) You get paid for every line you say even if it's wrong or adlibbed, don't you? (9)

Jane: Nope, but I get brownie points with the author whenever I say that line or make a reference to coffee in one of his fics. (Beat. She sneaks a look off of the screen.) Plus he is kind of cute...

Daria: Still drinking Cynic Brew Coffee, Jane? (10)

Jane: (Looking again off stage nervously and then back at the camera.) Um, so don't we have a commercial to do now?

Daria: Probably. (Beat.) I don't have a clue as to what it is though. I'm always the last to know. (Sighs.) I have to talk to my agent about that someday.

Both Daria and Jane look off screen.

An off stage voice: Talk about how much you're enjoying this wonderful series.

Daria and Jane look at one another and then back off stage.

Jane: And if we don't?

The off stage voice: Then I have the two of you dig out the next latrine on the tribal village set. (Beat.) And I'll make Jane do that Shatner bit for real for the rest of the series (Beat.) with a toupee.

Daria and Jane look again at one another and then back at the camera.

Daria: It's good.

Jane: Damn good.

Daria: The best thing he's ever written.

Jane: The best thing he's ever done.

Daria: In his entire life.

Jane: Ever.

Daria: Action.

Jane: Lots of action.

Daria: Drama.

Jane: Filled with drama.

Daria: Hasn't put me to sleep yet.

Jane: (Looking at Daria.) Well, (Beat.) you did fall asleep while they were dressing up the set of the tribal council hut.

Daria: (Looking at Jane.) We weren't going to mention that, Lane.

Jane: Well, you did.

Daria: You're the one who fell asleep hanging from the limb.

Jane: (Shr
ugs.) It was comfortable.

Daria: (After a beat.) I don't want to know.

Jane looks at Daria and then back at the camera with a smirk.

The off stage voice: Don't forget to mention the email problem.

Jane: That's right. (She holds up a sheet of paper so she can read from it.) Due to a server upgrade, all of Dr. Mike's saved emails were lost. Those who wrote to him during the last few weeks and needed a reply, Dr. Mike would love to get a hold of you again but lost your e-mail addresses. (She puts down the sheet.) This is as bad as doing those public service announcements that crazy person had us do.

Daria: What's really bad is that notice will remain in this fic until he removes it.

Jane: (Looking at Daria.) He still has things to correct from his first fic.

Daria: Yes, he does.

They look at each other.

Jane: Twenty years from now, people will be wondering what kind of handle (She glances at the sheet again and then back up.) CINCGreen is, won't they?

Daria: I'm sure they will.

Ext. View: A circular clearing lined with small white stones within the tribal village area. A large number of tribespeople are gathered around the clearing, some sitting on mats, some standing near the lit torches that light up the darkening night sky. Some hold what appears to be large dried fruit while others have placed the fruit on the ground near by. At one end of the open area, a curtain of large leaves hangs in front of a 25 foot tall stone object. An unlit fire pit sits below the curtain, filled with wood waiting to be lit. A small group of spear armed warriors stand on either side of the curtain.

A young teenaged female yells and points outside of the circle as tribespeople hurrily pick up their dried fruit. They watch as our group is escorted into the circle by a band of warriors, Daria first. As soon as Daria steps over the white stones, the dried fruits husks are shaken and we hear a hard, brushing sound. A warrior leads Daria to the middle of the circle and is left there, being stared at by the tribe. The rest of our group, hands still tied, are kept in a guarded bunch off to the side.

The tribe looks off in the opposite direction as we see Clue-masy Smear-if leading the other seven men we saw earlier into the circle to stand in front of the curtain. Clue-masy Smear-if slowly lifts his hand to the sky as the rest of the tribe follows with their dried fruit husks, making the noise grow louder. He raises his hand as high as it can go while the tribe is making as much noise as they can with the husks. He reviews the tribe with a fatherly smile and then quickly lowers his hand which is the signal for the noise to stop. He turns to look at Daria, still with the smile.

Clue-masy Smear-if: (Loudly to the tribe.) We vel-comb the goddess Di-ar-rhe-a to the village of her children, Ami-rick-can Ban-dist-tard.

Lynn: (Quietly to those near her.) *Her* children?

Jane: (Smirking.) Daria, is there something or someone you've been keeping from us all this time?

The entire groups pulls up as what Clue-masy Smear-if said sinks in.

The group: (Shocked.) Goddess?!?

Quinn: She can't be a goddess. She's not cute enough. She's too plain. I'm the cute one. I should be the goddess. Why does she have to be the goddess? URGH!

Daria: Quinn, you can be the goddess if you want but I don't think the tribe would let you.

Quinn turns to one of the warriors standing beside her.

Quinn: I would make a much better goddess than she would. You can worship me.

The warrior pulls his arms away with a sneer of disgust towards Quinn.

The warrior: (In VERY broken English.) You are ugly! (Quinn pulls back in shock.)

Quinn: I'm not ugly. I'm the cute...

Before she can go on, A hand covers her mouth from behind. The camera pulls back slightly and we see it's Vincent's hand.

Vincent: Maybe having Daria as the goddess would be a good idea.

Jane: If they're happy with her as the goddess, maybe they'll keep the rest of us alive.

Lynn: (A tad confused.) I still don't understand why Daria and not me.

Daria: If you want to switch places, Lynn...

Clue-masy Smear-if: We built this statue in your honor, Di-ar-rhe-a.

The leaves in the curtain are pulled back to display what's behind it. Right before we see it though, the view changes to show the faces of our group. The jaws of the group drop as one and Vincent's hand falls from Quinn's mouth.

Daria: What...

Quinn: the...

Lynn: hell...

Vincent: is...

Jane: that?

Everyone pulls back and stares at Daria as she hangs her head. The camera changes to show the curtain as the last of the leaves are removed. It is a 25 foot tall stone bust of Daria, complete with glasses. (11)

The camera changes back to our group.

Everyone but Daria: Daria?!?!

Daria: This is a bad dream.

Jane: (Looking back in the direction they were looking at.) I'm seeing it but I don't believe it.

Lynn: (Ditto.) That can't be her.

Vincent: (Also looking back.) But it looks like her.

Daria: (She shakes her head slightly.) A very bad, bad dream.

Quinn: (Looking closer at the bust.) Wait a minute, that's not Daria.

Lynn: How can you say that, Quinn? It looks exactly like her.

Jane: (Taking a closer look.) You know, she's right. The face. It's different.

Daria: (Finally looking up at the bust.) Quinn, do you still have that picture you got at the wedding last year?

Quinn pulls out her wallet and flips through an extensive amount of picture until she finds a specific one. She walks over to Daria while looking back and forth between it and the bust. Daria also looks between the two until they look at each other, then at the picture and then again at the bust.

Quinn and Daria: Aunt Amy?!?!

Clue-masy Smear-if: And after the feast, we will have the ceremony where we will honor the goddess Clue-masy Smear-if with the sacrifices of those who she has brought with her.

Clue-masy Smear-if points to a large fire pit that was also behind the curtain and in front of the bust. A warrior reaches down with a torch and lights it. The wood goes up in a rush lighting up the bust. Our group looks on in horror.

Our group: Sacrifice?!?!

The scene fades out and then we see:

To be continued...

***The End***

Lynn: (Voice over.) Next time on Dr Mike's the Jungle series:

*Warriors dragging Jane and Lynn over to the fire pit while Daria, Vincent and Quinn look on in horror.

*Daria standing all alone in the tribal council hut, getting angry all of the sudden, and reaching out, grabbing the pedestal, and throwing it across the room.

*The tribespeople sitting there eating something looking very happy, nodding their heads back and forth at each other.

Footnotes:

1.) The camp's motto from M*A*S*H. At least that's how I remember it.
2.) Di-ar-rhe-a was the name given to Daria by Beavis and Butt-head.
3.) Not giving anything away but this time length comes into importance later on.
4.) I can't believe I wrote that either. I actually wrote it without realizing it until like six edits later.
5.) I got a "Huh?" from one of my beta readers on this line so I'll explain just in case. I was looking for heroic actors that Quinn would be able to identify. Both Bruce Willis and Will Smith, in my opinion have played these roles recently. (Bruce Willis playing in all those Die Hard movies and the Fifth Element. Will Smith seems to play heroes that are just in the right place at the right time like Independence Day and MIB.) I'm told Keanu Reeves has also but I must have missed them. Of course I haven't seen one of his movies since Bill and Ted so maybe I'm missing something there.
6.) Just in case you don't understand this, Lynn Cullen is a creation of the fanfic author Canadibrit and is a near twin of Daria. (*cough* foreshadowing *cough* hint *cough*)
7.) I'm going to have some fun with this.
Quinn in a culture where she isn't accepted as being cute. He he.
8.) *Sigh* The things they do in merry ol' England.
9.) It's a common fan theme that Jane has a contract with Viacom/MTV that requires her to be in every episode and fanfic of Daria. This is just me extending it a bit.
10.) A commercial in one of the other Jungle fics.
11.) Get your mind out of the gutter. You know what I'm talking about when I say bust.

Notes:

Well here's part three of my series. I hope you like it. It's shorter then the other two but more will be explained in part four.

It was started on September 21st and finished on October 1st. It was actually tossed and completely rewritten in that time as I did not like how it was coming out and neither did my two beta readers. I actually wrote the whole thing with WordPad this time and spell checked it (Which was fun with the broken English.) in MSWord.

Again, those who emailed me within the last month, drop me a note as my email server ate all my saved emails.

Thanks again for playing.